saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sorry about my life...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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