I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
