no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
