Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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