had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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