apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
