wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
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So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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