Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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