yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
