Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
