just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Randomize
