im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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