Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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