oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
