I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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