They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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