I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
