I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
