I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
