What a fucking waste of an outfit
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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