So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
