Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
