:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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