If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
