Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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