So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Randomize
