I am puke
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
