Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
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Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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