Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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