so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
