I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize