My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize