I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
