I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
