Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
