xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
