your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
