If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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