Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize