Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
