I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
