it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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