also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
