Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
