I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
