You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
