They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
