so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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