so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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