we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
