i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
All the doctor said was why
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
