If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
40s are totally the cure
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
