it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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