I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
