evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
