Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
