Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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