Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
