Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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