What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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