Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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