your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
